I feel like I have to write this soon because if I don't then it will slip away.
Most of the people in our lives know that early Saturday morning, our family had a medical scare.
Around 3:20 am I was pulled from sleep by the frantic movements our son, who will be two in March, was making. At first I thought he was dreaming. He can be a fitful sleeper, usually making a journey around our bed most nights. The bedside lamp on my husband's side of the bed had been left on, so when I saw Sam's face, I knew that he wasn't dreaming. Or sleeping.
It hit me hard that I was watching my son have a seizure. My husband Jared, who normally sleeps so deeply that he is often impossible to wake, woke within seconds of me shouting his name.
For once, my brain did not let me down. We called 911. We made sure he was safe.
This was the first time that I had ever seen anyone have a seizure right in front of me. And it was terrifying. But the wildest thing was this. I was ready.
I was beyond ready.
You see, just the day before, on Friday, I completed an all-day course to become CPR certified.
And so I watched my son, keeping a check on his breathing.
His seizure only lasted about a minute. It took him about ten minutes to come around. He remained unresponsive the entire time. It was excruciating. For a large part of me. But a part of me also had peace.
So, why do I feel the need to record this for all the world to see( or not, their choice. :) )
This post isn't to scare you about your child having a seizure. The type of seizure Sam had is called a febrile seizure, and actually occurs in about every 1 in 20 children, age birth through seven years. It happens when the body has a dramatic change in temperature in a short amount of time. In this case, Sam's temperature rose extremely quickly. The seizure was merely his body's response. He will, thankfully, see no effects.
This post isn't about cosleeping, although I've never been more thankful that I do so.
This post isn't even about how I think everyone who is able and willing should be CPR certified. ( And I do think that, truly)
This post, rather, is how through every moment of this experience, I could feel God's presence with us. This post is my way of thanking Him for the peace he grants us, even when we struggle to find it.
Even Saturday night, when bed time rolled around and I was unexpectedly riddled with anxiety at the thought of succumbing to sleep, and not being able to watch him. We had made it through nap time that day with no such feeling. Honestly all I felt then was relief since we all lost a good bit of our normal sleep time. But the dark changes things. The nighttime has always felt Other to me. Alluring, yet guarded. So when my body was trying to give in to exhaustion, but my mind was wrestling with what-ifs, I reminded myself that worrying would do me no good. For this, we are given Matthew 6:27,
Can anyone of you by worrying add a single hour to your life
Short answer, no.
And so, for the boy sleeping on my pillow, with only one sock on because he is my child, I give all my thanks to God.
